Old Man Morgan

As people go through life they take a gazillion decisions (don’t confuse decisions with choices). Sometimes they take good decisions and sometimes not so good. When a person is successful, as I am, there are lots of folks that ask for aid or assistance. Taking a decision on “to help” or “not to help” can be very stressful. Saying “no” to a person is not easy.

I rarely give people loans. Loans can destroy families and friendships. But, there are times when loans are appropriate. Usually, I give people gifts and that way there is no further obligations/expectations.

Back in 2006 when Decy and I were frequenting Club CJs at Hotel Mulia we became friends with many members of the band. For Christmas we gave each band member a $50 tip. One band member that had been closer to us, explained to us a situation where he needed to leave the country to go be with his wife and he needed $800 to get his passport back and to finish paying for a plane ticket. He asked us for a loan and said he would transfer the money back to us promptly when he got to his wife.

Decy and I had a long discussion and recognized that the likelihood of this individual ever paying the money back was pretty remote … consider: (1) Never trust a man you meet in a bar, and (2) NEVER NEVER trust a band member. One’s a dog, and the other is a dirty dog. Anyway, we took a chance on this kid.

Well, a month or two after he left we didn’t receive the money and we started exchanging emails. Decy sent an incredibly strong email. Mine was more gentle but firm. The individual Charl Pilwan (from S. Africa) aka Baby Boy had all the usual gazillion excuses about why he couldn’t pay and how hard his life was. I listened but didn’t let him off the hook.

The other band members knew what happened and expressed their dissatisfaction and outrage and made comments about how they would get the money back for us. One was even so “bold” as bring forward his own situation and asked us to help him … while telling us that he was different and not like Baby Boy.

Fast forward 16 months … we now frequent Club Mistere at the Ritz Carlton. It seems that Baby Boy is back … as the leader of the new band there (different band vs what was playing at CJs0. We saw him on their first night at Mistere. He was pretty shaken up – he came to apologize for not paying us back the money and promised he would repay. I said “ok” … but assumed it was BS. He said he would call us … I gave him Decy’s phone number – he never did.

So, on my birthday Decy and I went to Mistere. Baby Boy was obviously there … his wife was also visiting – and he wanted to introduce us to his wife. During the 1st break Baby Boy went to his room. When he came back he handed me an envelope with eight crisp new $100 bills (we’ve tested them at the bank – they are real). Baby Boy said he didn’t call Decy because he knew she was so angry at him. He said the money had been in his safe since he last saw me … as he was sure I would be back someday at Mistere. I thanked him, hugged him … and then later met his wife.

Now one can wonder what was the driver for him to finally pay up: (1) Did he truly mature over the past 16 months and wanted to make some things right in his life, (2) was he afraid we were going to tell his wife about the money and the things we knew about him, (3) was he afraid that we would tell the management of Mistere and he would lose his job. I don’t know the answer … and it is probably not important that I do know. But, the bottomline is HE PAID AND SETTLED HIS DEBT.

My thanks goes out to Charl Pilwan today. Yes, thanks for paying the money back. But also for reminding me that sometimes you have to take some risks on people … it may or may not work out – but one cannot give up. After the first few months (of not getting repaid) I really questioned my own judgement and kept kicking myself for losing $800 … finally I dealt with it. Now, I am fully restored.

Thank you Charl Pilwan … aka Baby Boy … leader of band Choklat Soul.

Ciao ciao